Tribute to Ben Entwistle

I wrote about Ben in my book "Breathing Grace" telling the story of Ben's struggle with endocarditis in 2003. Ben was a rising junior at Covenant college, a member of the varsity soccer team. We remember Ben as a sensitive, caring young man with an infectious zeal for life. I watched him play rugby at the RVA alumni game two weekends ago and Ben never gave less than 100%.

Ben died this week after suffering complications of a second bout of fulminant endocarditis (heart valve infection).

In wake of this tragedy, we ask God, "why?"

This is adapted from "Breathing Grace."


“Why?”
We cry in our pain, demanding answers and God closes the heavens. We believe answers exist, but for much of our suffering, God’s answers seem hidden, his love remote.
Trust only on sunny days is not trust.
Faith is moving forward at midnight when the sun is hidden from view.
We search the book of Job, looking for the answers for our pain. How could God in His love have allowed such catastrophe and suffering?
We read, searching with Job, the answer to the why question. Why am I suffering? But the answer never comes, at least not the answer we want. Not even when God speaks from the whirlwind. Look at God’s answer and count the number of questions God returns to Job. I did and lost count after sixty.
The bottom line? God is God. I am not. He wants my trust in the midst of my pain. He gets to be the one to ask the questions. Not me.
For us, He does not promise relief. Instead, He gives His presence.
He does not often answer why. Instead He asks us, “Who is God?”
God wants to deepen, stretch, and strengthen our faith. Unfortunately for us, deepening involves exposure to dredging tools, stretching involves tension, and strengthening means painful exercise.
Why is a question without a definitive answer for my parents or anyone else experiencing catastrophic loss. We can gather explanations into a blanket around us, but ultimately, we will find comforting warmth only in a faith that says, “I will trust without knowing.” For my parents, why-answers offer some comfort, but in the end, there are no good explanations for the death of a child. The only real comfort comes with releasing the need to know. We find comfort only when knowing that God knows is enough.
A theology that masquerades as a gospel of grace, but doesn’t deal with the difficulty of suffering isn’t only inadequate. It’s dangerous. Proponents of prosperity doctrine build unsteady scaffolding around gullible believers. The scaffolding collapses when the winds of adversity rise. When pain occurs, those taken in by this teaching are left feeling guilty and wondering where their faith has failed. They question God’s love, not understanding that God’s love was hidden in the pain.

The journey to the Promised Land doesn’t end with deliverance from bondage and neither should our theology.

The deception inherent in the masquerade is exactly because it’s what we want to believe. We cling with veracity to teaching which promises health and riches. We would like to believe that the story of Exodus ends with the celebration on the Red Sea shore. Out of bondage! But that’s only chapter fifteen. There was desert ahead: trails, suffering, longing for the good old days, and forty years of wilderness.

Mountain climbers discipline their bodies with vigorous exercise in preparation for summiting the earth’s highest peaks. After months of training, they make their assent in stages, stopping for time to acclimate to the thin air with reduced oxygen.
Times of suffering are tantamount to spiritual mountain climbing. We need to prepare for these times with the spiritual disciplines of prayer, Bible study, and time spent in solitude with the Savior.

Here's to Ben, walking by sight. Face to face with Jesus July 15, 2008.