What It's like To Be An Author

I spent three hours yesterday (three different class periods) as the guest lecturer in a high school English class. It was their chance to talk to a real author and my chance to rub shoulders with some great young teens who have their own preconceived ideas about what being a writer of novels is all about.

I showed them a slide of rhino grazing a few feet away from me, not bothered by my presence, nose to the task. I told them to get rid of the romantic notion of what it must be like being a writer. There is no life for me sitting in a comfy chair by the fireplace, smoking a pipe, laptop open, fingers pouring forth wonderful stories, taking breaks only to discuss Hollywood options with my literary agent or to collect my royalty checks from the mailbox. I told them writers need to be a bit like the rhino in the picture. Novels are long and they take a long time to write, so you have to be disciplined about staying at the task and ignoring the distractions. After the novel is written, I told them you need a thick skin like the rhino, because it's going to take some resilience if you are not going to cave when the editors give you a thousand suggestions as to how to do it better. And then, long after publication, there's the reviewers, some professional, but in the age of Amazon.com any one can review a book and post it for the rest of the world to see (ah, if only the rest of the world was searching my books on Amazon). While I was talking, the English teacher actually looked up a book of mine on Amazon and found a one star review. Turns out all the guy had to say was, "I had to give this book one star because I never got the book. So if you're the seller, I need you to contact me...." Crazy, huh? He doesn't get the book, so he takes it out on the author, as if I had something to do with it.

Luckily, thick skin like a rhino in place, I let that one go....

Then, I told them to be ready for solitude. LOTS of it. You're going to have to be comfortable spending time alone, because that's how novels get written. Of course, there's the occasional jaunt out into the public to do research or book promotion, but the vast amount of time is spent at the keyboard, conversing with your imaginary friends.

New writers need to be ready for an apprenticeship of years. From the time you first start writing, rewriting, getting advice, finding an agent, submitting proposals, writing again, starting over.....to the time you can hold that first book in your hand is going to be years. There are plenty of success stories in writing and very few of them didn't involve a long time and multiple rejections. For that reason, for new writers, the process has to be enough. You have to get to the point where you think that even if it doesn't get published, the process of getting story on paper was enough. If it isn't fun, don't even think about it.

All writers I know have to face the temptation of envy. I know I do. I look at the type of books I write, books laced with medical realism, an attempt at real characters with flaws, battling with obstacles, developing a conscience etc., and then I look at the fluff on the best-seller list and am tempted to envy. I think my stuff has more depth than the popular stuff. Maybe I should be writing Amish romance or vampire stuff. Why do some books break out and the majority of good writing sits unnoticed? I can't tell you the answer to this one, only that it's true and if the writer doesn't find joy in the process, he or she should do something else. Christian writers, God is in control, not us. We need to thank him for the grace to be able to pen a publishable story and realize that ultimately the results are up to God.

Of course, then there's the finances. Realize that there are very few authors making a living off of the craft. Writer-wannabes tend to think that with the first contract comes a guarantee of financial freedom. Time to quit the job at Burgers-Are-Us and make the down payment on that BMW you've been eyeing. Hey, the Stephen Kings of this world are the exception. The rest of us are the rule.

Writers (I should say successful writers) live a life of discipline. A few years ago, as I was getting ready to do a seminar at Liberty University on the craft of the novel, I wrote to a few writer friends and asked them to give me their top five things they wish they'd have known (that they learned on the road of experience) when they were just starting out. Jerry B. Jenkins (of the "Left Behind" series) said, "The need to put butt in chair every day." You see, without discipline, the novel-length project goes unfinished. You have to push past a lull in your own interest, writer's block and the agonizing revision process. You have to be willing to strip the slow parts and start over, if needed. In all, it takes a lot more than showing up at the keyboard, but Jenkins is correct: it all starts there. If you don't sit in front of the keyboard for the necessary hours, the novel just ain't gonna happen.

So, keep the romantic idea of the writer in your head if you aren't planning to do it yourself. The problem is, there are many who want to have WRITTEN a novel more than to endure the process of actually writing it. That reminds me of what my mother said to her home church as my parents were getting ready to leave as missionaries to Africa. "I've always wanted to be a return-missionary," she said. "Only one way to do that....go!"

I thought that was amusing then, but then, my mom was being brutally honest. Most people would like to be return-missionaries, to be able to sit around the roaring fire sharing amazing stories of sharing the gospel while facing down native's spears. Most people won't be return-missionaries because they don't want to endure the actual going and doing part.

And most people won't ever reach the point of having written a novel, because it's the doing part that's so painful.

Just thought you deserved to know in case you were thinking of putting your toe in the water to find out what the life is like.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to lay down my pipe, put another log on the fire, and check my mailbox for all those royalty checks!